What is love?

A Sermon preached on October 26^th (Pentecost XX) at St. Augustine’s, Wiesbaden

Leviticus 19:1-2, 15-18, Psalm 1, 1 Thessalonians 2:1-8, Matthew 22:34-46

Love is an overarching theme of the readings this week. In the extract from Leviticus God commands Moses to say to the Israelites, You shall be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy.” One element of being holy, which just means being set apart or set aside for God, is the command “you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Lev. 19:18) When asked to define which of the 613 commandments is the greatest, Jesus quotes both this last verse from Leviticus as well as the command in Deuteronomy (6:5) to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind. And clearly Paul loves the Thessalonian Christians so much that he and his companions want to share not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you have become very dear to us.” (1 Thess. 2:8) But in the words of the singer Haddaway’s 1990s hit song: “What is love?”

Presumably all of Jesus’ actions, both the healing of the sick as well as rebuking and silencing the scribes and Pharisees in public, are compatible with his command of love. But if so, it’s a strangely strict or even formidable kind of love. So what is love? A few weeks ago I gave you a linguistic and philosophical distinction between the different words for love in Greek. But for a long time I’ve been harboring the idea of looking at secular pop songs to see if they have a message for us about Christian love. It’s pretty easy to find lists of the top 10, 50 or even 100 love songs on the internet. Of course many are just hopelessly romantic, and some a little bit too sexual for this exercise. Though if you want to read a beautiful, but also explicitly erotic love song, I recommend the “Song of Songs” in the Old Testament! If you want to listen to the songs I’m about to mention and quote from by the way, you can find my sermon online via our website and I’ve added a list of links to the YouTube videos. 

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37) and strength (from Deut. 6:5) Jesus answers the Pharisees, quoting that text from Deuteronomy that is also part of a devout Jew’s daily prayer, the Shema. The meaning of this command is that we give to God all that we are: our will, our life, and our wealth and power, all of which come from God in the first place anyway. This sense of exclusiveness, of there being nothing more important than this focus of our being, is beautifully expressed in the words of Joe Cocker’s song, “You are so beautiful.”

You are so beautiful to me.

Can't you see you're everything I hoped for.

You're everything I need.

We don’t always find this an easy thing to do - subduing our will to anyone else, even to the Creator of all, and humanity has a very bad track record. Thankfully God’s love for us is not dependent on the intensity of our love for God. And God is always there when we need God, especially in our darkest hours. I think this feeling of total reliance and trust is conveyed so well by the lyrics of Ben E. King’s song “Stand by me.”

When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we'll see
No, I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

Turning now the second of the two commandments, how do we love our neighbor? According to the lyrics of the band Massive Attack’s song “Teardrop”

Love, love is a verb.

Love is a doing word.

And if we look at the detailed instructions in Leviticus this is true, because love has a lot more to do with action and actions rather than with emotions. We see that in the list given to Moses, love is all about practicing justice and charity in our dealings with others. To love our neighbor is to not speak ill of him or her, to have no hate in our hearts, to not bear a grudge. Can we always say that about ourselves? I can’t and if I think back to some of the conversations that took place during the series of small group meetings that finished this week, then are definitely still some grudges out there.

In his romantic hit song “Just the way you are,” Billy Joel sang

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from my heart
I couldn't love you any better
I love you just the way you are.

That’s one love song statement and sentiment I do not entirely agree with. God loves us as we are, but also so much that God wants to change and transform us and so that we are more than what we are, so that we are who we are supposed to be. Jesus rebukes and corrects both those who are out to get him as well as his own beloved disciples – remember him saying to Peter, “Get behind me Satan!” (Matthew 16:23) And so we are also instructed to correct our neighbor, in love and in gentleness, if they go or do wrong: “You shall reprove your neighbor. Or you will incur guilt yourself” Moses is told by the Lord. (Lev. 19:17)

Which is of course also one reason why, in the words of the Everly Brothers, “Love hurts.” 

Love hurts, love scars
Love wounds and mars
Any heart not tough
Nor strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud, holds a lot of rain

The other may not always appreciate our love, especially when it comes in the form of hoesty or of a correction. Parents know this very well! But that doesn’t get us off the hook. Christian love cannot always be reciprocal nor is love is not an excuse to take the path of least resistance. Note how Paul reminds the Thessalonians that he “never came with words of flattery.” (1 Thess. 2:5)  Loving God and loving our neighbor can also mean being sent somewhere to preach bad news, as Jonah was sent to Nineveh. And at times love can require sacrifice or personal loss. This aspect of love is at the very core of Christianity: Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross out of love. Love hurts.

In his letter to the Thessalonians Paul writes: “So deeply do we care for you that we are determined to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves.” (1 Thess. 2:8). His and his companions’ motivation was not out of greed, they came not to please the Thessalonians, nor were they were looking for praise. Paul and his friends knew the love of God as expressed in the message of the gospel and simply and genuinely wanted this love to embrace the Thessalonians. If Paul had known the lyrics of the Bee Gees’ song “How deep is your love” he might have used them to describe the depth of his love for God and Christ:

I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You're the light in my deepest darkest hour
You're my saviour when I fall
And you may not think
I care for you
When you know down inside
That I really do

And as Paul and his friends worked among the Christians in Thessalonica they found their own love being drawn out to them as well. That’s the sort of transformation through loving and being loved by God that we also hope and pray for. Scripture calls us to a love that is other-directed, and Scripture also assumes that we need other people’s love. “God only knows what I’d be without you” the Beach Boys sang. God knows that we are nothing without God and nothing without our love for the other. Love is what makes us complete and completely human.

Amen

Playlist:

1. Joe Cocker: “You are so beautiful”
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsOSt3hNRY0
2. Ben E. King: “Stand by me”
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwZNL7QVJjE
3. Massive Attack: “Teardrop”
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fG8eQBSp9Ao
4. Billy Joel: “Just the way you are”
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJWM5FmZyqU
5. The Everly Brothers: “Love hurts”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5iJMfwwheY
6. The Bee Gees: “How deep is your love”
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSTeXIylpBc
7. The Beach Boys: “God only knows what I’d be without you”
   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkPy18xW1j8